My First Encounter with Heartbreak

When I was sixteen years old, I had my first encounter with heartbreak. Since then, I have been in several relationships and I use my experiences to counsel friends with relationship issues. Through hindsight, I have found a formula that leads to a successful relationship. Compatibility, communication, affection, trust, and loyalty are essential to any successful relationship.

Compatibility is like the seed of plant, it is the source from which a relationship sprouts.

It comes naturally and is deeper than just liking the same food. Compatibility is having the same long term goals. Two people may meet at a bar continue to date and enjoy the night life scene every weekend. As their relationship progresses one partner is still content with their fun life while the other wants to step towards marriage and children. Consequently, the relationship has come to a halt because one partner can no longer meet the desires of the relationship. Two people at two different stages of life cannot have a healthy relationship because they are always playing catch up to one another. Look for a partner with the same interest in activities. If dance is of interest find someone who shares that interest. This is important because in any relationship doing things together can mold and tighten the bond between companions.

“Hold on just listen to me”, “I didn’t mean it like that”, “listen please” if someone find themselves in this situation communication is probably a big issue for them and their companion. Dr. Phil’s article Life Strategies Personal Relationship Values states “Rough times and arguments happen, and one way or another, they are going to impact the relationship.” The way these do can differ according to the level of communication in the relationship. When talking to between partner try to keep a steady mind. Stay focus and on topic don’t talk about subjects that are completely irrelevant. This leads to lot of confusing and brings up emotions from past arguments. The best way to communicate through a disagreement is to listen than talk. Another big component is use the word “I” because when the blame is direct at a person the response is usually defensive; however, when a person uses “I” it gives sense compassion and is easier to receive. Examples of these separate statements are “you should not speak your mind,” and “I was hurt when you spoke your mind” same content different presentation. It is not what a person says; it is how it is said that determines how the statement accepted. So when communicating with a companion take in consideration how they feel and understand the weight of the words used in the conversation. This will make the conversation a lot smoother but most importantly more efficient.

Affection is a visual and physical expression of how much a person means to another. It is love in its most exposed form. Hearing I love