Better Person

Like many others I was not aware until I took this class about the stereotype threat but I was dealing with it for years. Moving from one house to another, (for five years I was leaving with my grandparents until they died) was not easy. No one was considering as being one of their own, I was feeling rejected and for years I deal with my depression. I doubt my intellectual ability and when I went back to school I never got to be the A student that I was before.

Fear has overwhelmed me and has taken a great toll on the cognitive, social, and physical aspects of my life. It is important to reach out for help and to continue to educate ourselves about our changing world, but I was not aware of this. I was critical of what I read and what I hear in the media because everything beside Bible and Christian books were not something I wanted for guide my life after.

Going through my emerging adulthood years, my country changed from communism to democracy. Now we start having access to internet and books that were not allowed in my country before. I always had a passion about the psychology and I start reading a lot. I understand that I can overcome my future if I want to but I have to work hard. Before I believed that I am who I am and I cannot change who I am, but when I understood that achievements can change with effort, and genetic traits and genes are not the ones who has the "last word" in my life I start working on myself. I decided to take care of myself and change my future because I realized that somewhere I had lost me. By this time I was about 17 years old. I went back to school; and I finish my high school 4 years later being first in my class.

I was in just turning 18 when I got married and I cannot say that our two years of relationship before getting married were pretty and full of love, but my need to have someone to share my life with was stronger that my rational thinking. My marriage was rough, and I was always trying to make him happy. He was my first boyfriend and I being a narrow-maid Christian, suffering was part of life. It got to the point where I could cook his favorite meal, and he would "eat later", usually out with his friend. I bought his clothes, patched them and picked them up off the floor. I went to his parties and was the one that didn't drink and smoke and everyone was looking at me as I was coming from another planet. I tried to deny my needs hoping that one day he will wake up and see all the good things and appreciate me.

I have been taught that, when it comes to marriage, "love is all you need", but what I was not taught is that we both must feed, water and nurture our marriage by meeting the lower needs of the union.

When we as humans don't have our basic needs met, we become more pushy, aggressive and fear-based. So this is who I was. When we feel safe, comfortable, loved and esteemed,