Restorative Practices to Resolve Conflicts - Build Relationships

Restorative Practices to Resolve Conflicts/Build Relationships

Katy Hutchinson is a restorative justice advocated. In the Ted-Talk video she shared two stories, one about a big mess and one about a small mess. In the first story told was about her life as a child and the disciplinary actions her parents took. Her father was a naval commander and when he was home he was the troop peace maker in the household. He had one rule in the house and that was to not use his beard trimming scissors.

One day she was doing a craft project and took her father’s scissors and used it. She damaged her father’s scissors and put them back. Her father asked her did you use my scissor and she lied and said no. her father was very disappointed in her and showed her how the scissors is of no use to him again. She then finally admitted that she used the scissors. We have a moral responsibility to clean mess up as stated. Her father talked to her about honesty, respecting people’s property and respected their feeling. He had use guilt as a disciplinary technique, and “time-in” where they talked about the impact our actions have on other people.

Ms. Hutchinson now had a family of her own, where she had two toddler twins. She tried to use the time-out method on them but managing two toddlers in two different area was not effective. She then reflect on her childhood and how she was raised and started using the time in method with her children. She believed it was an effective way to allow her children to see how there action are impacting the people they negatively and what they can do to fix it.

Two weeks before her children’s fifth birthday her husband was killed. She had to explain to her kids that there dad was dead. Kathy had to step up through all the pain she was feeling and live a positive live for her kids. It was five years later and the person responsible for her husband’s death, Ryan was arrested. She wanted to meet the person that had killed her husband. She wanted to understand what was going on in his live to make him capable of what he did. She wanted him to know what has been going on in their lives, she needed a “time-in”. When she got to the place she expected a monster but what she saw was a child that could have been her child so she gave him a hug.