Article Terry Martin Hekker

In 1977 Terry Martin Hekker wrote an article for the New York Times about being a homemaker verse having a career as a woman. The objective of the article wasn’t to persuade mothers to quit their careers to stay home to rear children; it was written from the heart that raising a family can be both rewarding and challenging.

After 40 years of marriage her world came crashing down when her husband served her with divorce papers. They helped her realize that maybe being a homemaker wasn’t the best choice for her after all. Being a divorced woman in her 60’s with no career was the most humiliating thing. She had been the best homemaker she could be and she was tossed aside by her husband for a better “model.” Terry thought maybe one day she would be a widow but never a divorcee.

The once “pro- homemaker” is now worried about the modern mother the one who quits the work force to raise children. With only 50% of marriages surviving now a days she wonders if it is the right choice. Young mothers have to face the fear of one day becoming the poverty-stricken group of divorced older women. There is a lot of stress on a woman in a modern marriage trying to be self sufficient while sharing the responsibilities of work, housekeeping, and bills. As opposed to traditional marriage where there was mutual dependency.

Realizing now that if she could do things differently she would marry the same man; but go back to school and accumulate two doctorates. Instead of putting all her time into charitable community causes. Although all of her community support landed her a job as the first female mayor of Nyack, NY; it wasn’t much of a salary but it gave her importance.

Now she looks at her book from the 70’s as a cautionary tale. A tale of a woman who thought she was in a successful marriage that would last forever; which would never help today’s modern woman.