Of Audacity and Cowardice

Of Audacity and Cowardice

When people face an abrupt and tight situation, they often fight their way out by guile or cowardice. Rarely do people show true heroism and courage in times of desperation, and because of that fact, those audacious men and women are hailed as heroes. Some scoff at these acts of altruism as hollow bravados done to promote oneself in others’ eyes, but I know better. However, my knowledge of this fact came a pained experience during my adolescent years in high school; I was faced with a tight situation, and my inability to act bravely resulted in my two good friends fighting each other. I still shudder at the fact that I was paralyzed, unable to do anything, and constantly remind myself of that day and the importance to act with courage. In my high school days, I had two friends; one was a ‘bookworm’ called Khalifa who studied diligently every day, and the other was the polar opposite named Lyes, who did not know how to sit still in a desk for a single hour. On the test day, my less erudite friend wished to cheat by looking at Khalifa’s test sheet and sought his compliance by poking him in the back, but Khalifa naturally refused, in full knowledge that if he abetted, he will be left in a very undesirable situation. Lyes was unhappy about this obvious response, and proceeded to beat Khalifa after school. Although shameful to admit, I was among the crowd of people who just watched as two of my friends wrestle, punch and kick each other, while I knew who was to blame and knew the right thing to do.Psychology speaks of the bystander effect and social conformity, the former being the dispersion of responsibility among a crowd of people when they sense something is wrong, and the latter a pressure not to break the current flow of the situation in fear of standing out of the crowd. Despite these logical explanations, my actions on that day is still unforgivable to myself, knowing I have wronged two friends, one for not righting him, the other for not being able to side him in his time of need. In my bed that night, I wrenched myself, locked in thought about what was the right thing to do, what I should have done. I have always fantasized and aspired to be a hero; my disgraceful action showed me otherwise, what I had done. A person becomes a hero when he breaks the conformity and bystander effect, and deals with the trouble with his own hands; something I had to learn the hard way that day. Lyes and Khalifa remain good friends to this day, and they shrug or laugh off when someone mentions that day. I, however, flinch every time I hear the events retold by someone else. Such is the fate of a sinner. However, sinners may redeem themselves, and I await a chance of redemption, to free myself from my guilt. Armed with my newly earned audacity from that day, I will prove myself to have become a true man by facing a desperate situation with courage and pride.