Listening Case

I almost always remember more facts about a person’s life then I do their name. The listening style I most identify with would be as a people-oriented listener. I have a definite interest in the emotions, thoughts and feelings of the other person when I am engaged in a conversation with them. I truly enjoy listening to people talk about their families, lives, thoughts, and feelings. I make every effort to empathize with their situations and I actually get quite drawn into the many facets of their lives.

I feel this listening style is an advantage in my life because the people-oriented listening style works well with the career path that I am currently following. I am a barber and I’m very interested in what my client is talking about and I believe they can tell that I care about them and that I’m not just quickly rushing them through their haircut. I retain a large amount of information about each person by using this style of listening. I strive to make people feel comfortable and important when speaking with them. I genuinely enjoy these interactions and feel that I am building a rapport with my clients and in some cases building friendships. Coincidentally there have been secondary benefits such as repeat business, great tips and a happy and interesting work day.

A disadvantage to the people-oriented listening style happens when people tell you their life story over and over again. Listening repeatedly to accounts of every frustration and drama in their lives can become an energy drain. During this type of interaction some people; co-workers, client friends and family can become very demanding by taking advantage of my trusting and caring nature. These conversations or relationships become very one dimensional because I am only encouraged to talk or interact with them if we are discussing their lives including all the various highs and lows. Some people seem completely oblivious to my life, interests or anything of importance to me. Many of them only want me to continue talking if I am counseling, consoling or praising them. I realize that this may partially be due to their type of listening style.

As an example, I have a coworker that I have worked with for about fourteen years that falls into this category. She loves that I listen in a caring way about her but she loses interest fast if the conversation turns to something about me. She loves that I remember things about her from years ago, but knows or remembers very little about me. It seems that her listening skills are negligible when it comes to other people.

This type of interaction takes a toll on my emotions and fails to validate my feelings and my experiences. After a period