Stag

Hi,

Short version

xx is getting married soon and you’ve made the cut for the stag do. Please complete the poll link so we can see what weekends work best for the group.

Long version

The jury is still out whether it was jet lag, alcohol, temporary insanity or under duress. Irrespective of the reason the result is the same. xxxx has somehow agreed to marry xxx. They’re getting hitched xxxx and it is my honour to arrange xxx’s stag night prior to the impending nuptials.

Let me dispel one myth straight off the bat. Whilst no doubt if xx has anything to do with the proceedings coffee and papers will be on the cards. It will NOT be at Bradley Charvet’s new establishment in London. Gentlemen, however good the £50 cup of coffee “experience” is, the lasting damaged caused by seeing a fellow stags “O face” over a morning coffee has lifelong horrible flashback written all over it.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about this is a good thing.

Right, back to the stag planning. You’ll note above I chose my words carefully, “Stag night”. Whilst it has become customary to go on a multiple day bender to a salubrious part of Eastern Europe, I’m under strict instructions and have been informed the following by xxx:

“ All unique and crazy activities have been done already”

To this I think what xxx is saying is ‘xxx & xxx will beat at karting and I’m a sore looser, if we do paintball you’ll all gang up on me’.

He also states;

“Drinking enough alcohol to tranquilise a small elephant is not dignified for a group of mostly 30-something’s”

To this I read ‘I don’t want photo’s of me pretending to be Maximus Decimus Meridius riding a bronze statue at 5 in afternoon to appear on Facebook (& you’ll all pick on me)’

Taking into account xx’s logical and reasoned argument’s it is proposed we revert back to the time old tradition of having a few pints in a good pub.

After careful consideration