Surviving a Military Deployment

Surviving a Military Deployment

        There you were. Happily married, starting your very own family, and you couldn’t be happier. Your story is just beginning, but will there be a happy ending? This is a question that we all ask ourselves. As we all continue on with our lives going about our days, we begin to take many things for granted. The long days and difficult tasks that we face will naturally start to cause stress. We tackle each busy day, only to then come home, cook dinner, bathe the children and finish up any last minute errands before bed. We become stuck in a routine and it can be exhausting. Everyone can agree that life can be chaotic at times, however occasionally we get a glimpse of that fairy tale story and remember to just sit back and enjoy our happy lives. When we remember that we belong to such a loving family, all the chaotic days are worth it. This is all the same for military families, only on top of it all there is also the haunting question of if the family will be faced with a deployment. In reality, for the majority of military families, it is not “if” but “when” this will happen.  

        It is almost inevitable that this time will come, and when it does it is imperative that the family remains positive. Staying informed, and knowing what to expect during a deployment can help families tremendously when facing this most difficult time. If a family can achieve this they have the potential to come out of the situation stronger. According to Simon H. Pincus, a lieutenant colonel in the United States Army, there are five stages of an emotional cycle involving deployment. They are: Pre-deployment, deployment, sustainment, re-deployment and post-deployment (Pincus 2-9). Each stage has distinct features that describe the emotional expectations. Even with past experience and emotional maturity, there is so much to understand to stay optimistic and confident. Comprehending the expectations of what feelings to expect and will be experienced can keep feelings and insight realistic. Studying this cycle beforehand can also help the parent in the house continue to keep the children focused and uphold a healthy sense of emotion for the family (Pincus 2-9).

        Pincus states that during the pre-deployment stage, the effected family may struggle with:  security issues, sleeping difficulties, being overwhelmed, and many other stressful matters (Pincus 2).  This can turn into denial, arguments, and even keeping a very busy schedule to stay distracted. It is very common in this beginning stage that a couple will argue more as both are trying to cope with stress of what is to come. This can cause feelings of guilt and regret as the family recognizes that they do not have much time left together before the deployment. In order to stay positive and happy, families often plan activities to do together so that they can enjoy each minute of their time left together before the deployment. It is also normal not to discuss the deployment itself, as it is not a topic that they enjoy thinking about. As families deal with the impending issues, the emotions experienced during this time vary from happiness of time spent together to tremendous sadness of the reality of deployment.