Things Change

I had no idea what I was in for, begrudgingly scribbling my name across the participation forms. My dance instructor had insisted that all of this would take little effort and that it was only for stage time and interview experience. Little did we know, a few months following her persuasion, I found myself staring blankly into an audience of three-hundred, having just been crowned Miss Frederick’s Outstanding Teen 2011. It was an uncomfortable, surreal feeling; I had no idea what to expect from the foreign world of pageantry. Four months later, [having also won the state pageant] I was thrown into a year reigning as Maryland’s Outstanding Teen…some formal representation of a “role model”. My academic and community service efforts were recognized and platformed, propping up the bedazzled crown glued to my head for each appearance. I had become the state’s teen icon for the Miss America organization, something I knew nothing about. I had never even gone as far as to watch Miss America on television prior.

To say the least, pageantry was unwelcome in my mind. My little knowledge of Miss America and “beauty” was limited before this experience. I was unclear as to the definition of an eating disorder and could easily confuse an eye lash curler with a pair of pliers. I was distraught, bewildered, overwhelmed, inundated with the details, and stressed by all the information… ultimately unprepared. I continued to spend each day of my summer inside mock interviews and endless dress rehearsals. Life didn’t slow down when junior year began either. Working two jobs