Tomorrow Case

After long and thoughtful consideration, I have come to a rather interesting conclusion.

Even though the global population is soaring into the billions, with thousands of religions, languages, philosophies, and cultures represented, ultimately, there are only two kinds of people.

There are those who are certain the world is going to hell in a handbasket and those who believe the best is yet to come. (Actually, there is a third kind of person, who thinks traditional Irish dance is the highest form of creative expression but I really don’t want to talk about them.)

Now, it hardly takes a genius to point out that we already live in dangerous and uncertain times. Why, all you have to do is turn on the TV, grab a copy of the newspaper, or just take a look out your window. It ain’t a pretty sight. Best friends and former allies are suddenly tearing at each other’s throats, while unshakable economic powerhouses are crashing to their knees on a daily basis. You and I both know that good people get attacked in broad daylight all the time, but somehow the bad guys never get caught.

It seems that everywhere you turn there are psychotic egomaniacs secretly trying to spoil your fun, drive you crazy, and generally make your life miserable. Just for starters, there are shop clerks with way too much attitude, doughnuts with too much icing sugar, unbearably long tap-dance routines in the middle of your favorite old musicals, and the dramatic aftereffects of a dangerously authentic chili con carne that are made ten times worse because public rest room doors never lock properly anymore! Of course, heartburn is nothing compared to heartache. Even though we are frequently told there are plenty of fish in the sea, the truth is that most of us spend a great deal of our lives physically and emotionally isolated, feeling utterly alone. And if you do finally snuggle up to someone who seems perfect for you, you find out that they snore so loudly that your dreams need subtitles. You just can’t win!

If you listen to the professional doomsayers, they will tell you that’s barely the half of it. They say these are our darkest days, and the future looks bleaker than ever. They tell us again and again that evil lurks everywhere- in the streets, in the trees, in the media, in the air, in the water, in the corridors of power, even in your sock drawer- waiting impatiently to rise up when we least expect it and sink its venomous teeth into our most tender regions. And finally, they point out that at every office Christmas party there is always someone who feels compelled to do this! “It’s the end of the world,” they shout. “It’s all over!” Now, what I find so confusing is that if these stone-faced folk truly believe all the scary stuff they preach, why do they choose to keep on living? Okay, I freely admit that choking yourself to death is not nearly as easy as it sounds and I