Who Am I? Self Analysis

I spent 18 years of my life living by others dreams and aspirations. I had a life with a direction that at that time I didn't realize it wasn't what I wanted. I was living off of suggestions given to me by others. Looking back now it was like I was living in a dark box flooded with dreams from my parents, family, friends, and classmates. I would have never thought that living off others was the cause of my unhappiness. It took several month and 800 mile move to realize that I was living on others dreams and another couple of months to learn what I wanted. I learned that being myself and not letting others control me was the key to unending happiness.

I grew up in a little town in the middle of Ohio. My parents split when I was six and received joint custody. So every Sunday my little brother and I would pack our things and move to the other parents home for a week. The only constant in my life from week to week was School. Naturally school was my getaway from the struggles of my home situation. All I wanted to be is like my friends in school, one home and two parents who loved each other. I had thought that if I started to act like my friends that maybe my life would have started to get better. This thought worked till middle school. Because, I was always adopting the thoughts and actions of my peers I started to get picked on. I had no confidence and very few friends, but all the teachers treated me like a person. This led to me becoming the teacher's pet and helped me become an A, B student. I wasn't completely happy; yes I was getting attention and it was easier to be a fake person, but I still didn't have a good group of friends. When I was in 8th grade my dad convinced me to join a Cadet military program called Civil Air Patrol. I succeeded in this program by adopting the good characteristics from all the leaders in the program. This was the one time that adapting others ideas did help me out.

Then there was high school another change in how the game of life was played. I was still a member of Civil Air Patrol and progressing through the command structure rapidly, but I still had no social world. I was a shadow. I would bounce between all the social groups. I was too smart and wasn't in sports my freshman year so the jock group didn't accept me. I was too social to fit in with the smart kids. Through Civil Air Patrol I had too many morals to fit in with the trouble makers. Sophomore year my math teacher Mr. Fraker convinced me to join the wrestling team. This was a place where I kind of fit in. I was still good at grades but with the way Mr. Fraker ran the program it turned out to be a little bit of an advantage. For every F the team had on their grade card he would give us 15 sprints for every D the team had we would have 10 sprints and for every A the team had he would take off 10 sprints. I was a straight A student while I was on the team and because of