Emotionally Focused Couples Paper

Running head: EMOTIONALLY FOCUSED COUPLES PAPER

Emotionally Focused Couples Paper

Ilisa Nickle

UOP

BSHS

385

January 18, 2016

Emotionally Focused Couples Paper

Couples therapy is sometimes needed when problems start in the relationship between a couples after many years of being together. When the magic is gone and all the expectations of your marriage seem to be letting you down finding someone to talk to can be lifesaving to your relationship. Sometimes one of the couple is unstable and comes from a troubled background, once in a routine of a relationship old learned behaviors can surface causing anger and stress into the relationship. When the damage has rooted sometimes the only way to repair or to keep the coupe together is through therapy. Emotionally focused therapy or EFT is a structured psychotherapy that is used with couples, families and individuals.

Dr. Susan Johnson is an emotionally focused therapist who works with couples who are having problems in their relationships. In working with a couple, Johnson listens to her clients’ emotions to learn about their needs in the relationship. She believes that emotions tell us what matters to people, and they organize how people interact with each other on a very basic level (Johnson, 2009, p. 9) The Emotionally Focused Couples video is based on the married couple, Scott and Leslie the couple have been married for about ten years. Currently they are separated and have come to Dr. Johnson for help with their marriage. Scott has problems with his temper and Leslie after dealing with it for many years has decided she doesn’t have to put up with it. Many married couples go through difficulties and find themselves seeking help to find the source of their problem. Often times the source of the couple’s problem is emotional, and they do not understand how to handle these issues. Johnson & Greenburg, 1998 stated, “Emotions provide an important basis for human behavior. Emotions amplify the effects of motives on behavior; they orient us towards/away from objects in our environment; they constitute a connection between us and our environment”. A person’s emotions are not self-center, emotions are also not independent of others. Emotions help people feel when a person’s emotions are off track or confused it can affect them in multiple ways. One effect is a person shutting down or not acknowledging how they truly feel. 

In the Emotionally Focused Couples video, we can see many different forms of body language from the couple and the Therapist.  Dr. Johnson uses many nonverbal gestures while speaking with the couple. Eye contact, hand and arm gestures, tone of voice and speaking slowly. We also witness the reactions of the couple to the questions asked, as well as, how the therapist reacts to the answers provided by the couple.  Dr. Johnson shows her feelings in the questions she uses and how she responds to Scott and Leslie. We also see this in her use of body language and the reflection of the couple’s feelings. Throughout the video, we witnesses the couple actively listening and expressing their feelings in an appropriate manner with the assistance of Dr. Johnson. With the help of Dr. Johnson, the couple reaches the conclusion that they want to remain in their marriage and that they are willing to work together to make things better.