Book Review - "how to Win Friends and Influence People"

Book Review

“How to Win Friends and Influence People”

(Dane Carnegie)

        “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, from Dale Carnegie is a great book to read if you want to improve your communication skills, have more friends and become more influential? The content of this book can help you open your eyes to more effective communications skills and how to deal with people better. If you read this book, there is a big chance that it is going to impact your life in a positive way. It will also make you realize some of the weaknesses you may not be aware of, but it would also provide you with some advice and great examples in how to improve.

        One thing we have to consider when we are criticizing someone is that we should consider that we are the ones who are wrong. Usually it is very easy to criticize someone but what are we really getting from that? If we criticize a lot, people are not going to look at us as reliable people and someone they can trust. Try to listen to others and see their points of view because you might realize that you are wrong. For example in a basketball game, if someone makes a mistake on defense and the other team scores, it is not good to snap on someone. You would think it is their fault but there are four more people on the court including you. So don’t make any early decisions.

        On the other hand, when you make someone feel special, most likely they are going to be happy. People usually lack of self-value so when we make someone feel important or appreciated they are going to be thankful and loyal to you in their service. Even a small acknowledgment can make them feel happy and special. The reason people act this way it is because when you give them some credit, they will take that as you think they are intelligent. On the other hand, when people don’t feel appreciated and they think they are doing more than people notice they can turn the opposite way. In extreme cases they can become criminals or get crazy. But everything is going to have a meaning when you say all of it and mean it. People can tell when you don’t really think what you are being genuine, and that is always going to have a bad outcome. Even when you say something nice to a stranger it can brighten their day and make it so much better.

        The way we approach people is also very important. The book says if you need them to do something for you and you approach them with telling them what and how to do things they are going to base their work on the way how you requested it. Even when you have to propose something, don’t base your conversation around the things they talk about the company, make it more about the person or group of people you are presenting to and their interest. For example, if you are trying to sell a product and you start talking about how great the product is most likely you are going to get a bad feedback. But if you start talking about the all benefits the individual is going to receive by buying the product that is going to leave a whole different impression. So make sure you are talking about the benefits of the consumers or buyers but not about the product itself. In the basketball world, it is the same with recruiting. If you start talking just about how great the school is and how that athlete should pick that school they are more than likely going to lose the recruit. The school which is going to get the athlete is going to be the school is going to tell the athlete how they are going to help them reach his maximum in every aspect.