Monologue Curious Incident (ed Boone)

“Shit, shit, shit! How could have I let him run away!? He will not survive out in the world; it is too loud and confusing he could end up dead somewhere. Oh my God… If he dies what would I do? I could never live with myself if I let that kid die! He is so smart! He could become one of the greatest mathematicians he could. Easy as a breeze; shit that kid can do math better than half the kids at the universities. God dammit Ed you’re so stupid! Why the hell did you kill that dog!? It’s a dog for Christ sakes! And Christopher knows that I did it too! It will be a miracle if I could ever get that kid to talk to me again… God I have screwed up so bad… Am I a bad father for Chris? The kid has a problem for Christ sake and I can’t keep my temper down. Shit I am a terrible father… No I can’t think like that. I have to go out and find him. He is my son and I am his father and it is my responsibility to protect him. He is out there alone and scared and alone and- Christ what the hell am I saying? C’mon Ed think! Where would he go? It would have to be somewhere safe. Maybe the back yard? Wait no I checked their already and he isn’t there. Oh for crying out loud he is my god damn son! Why can’t I even think where he might go!? C’mon Ed think, think, think… Where would your Christopher go? Shit! He might have gone to the police! He loves the police and their uniforms. Crap, and if he has he has gone to them he has probably told them about the damn dog! But what if he hasn’t gone to the police and is on his way somewhere else? It would help so much to have them help the search to find him. Should I go to them? Oh my God Ed are you stupid!? He’s your son! Who gives a shit if you have to go to jail for a month because you killed a dog, you will have found him. Wait a minute… Wait, wait, wait, wh-, wh-, wh-, wait… The school! He has probably gone to school! He feels very safe with Siobhan there. Ok Ed let’s put it all together… Ok, first the