The Ramifications of Particular Discoveries Differ for Individuals and Their Worlds

The ramifications of particular discoveries differ for individuals and their worlds

The pile of multicolored silks was so tall that mothers plastered smile was hidden behind it. If I told her now, maybe I wouldn’t have to witness her reaction. “ah… um … mama, I don’t think I’m going to the sheik tomorrow to bless me in my hijab”. But I hadn’t thought it through, before I could finish explaining she dropped the silks on our prayer rug and her piercing green eyes locked with mine and I swear I could see steam coming from her ears, then she began shouting. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN ADILA? YOU ARE TRYING ON THESE HIJABS. AND YOU ARE GOING! I let this go last week but I will not no more, my foot is going to go down this time, you watch”. Part of me wanted to jump out of my skin and into the body of a simple Western girl, and the other part of me wanted to erupt into laughter from mamas broken English. But instead, I did what I knew was best, I told her I wasn’t ready and it was my choice to make. Nothing more. Nothing less. If I had said anymore I would impair mama with a neurological disorder so I grabbed my stack of new novels and made my way upstairs, before my tyrannical father oaths me for being a disappointment to his family 8000 miles away.

Excert from Adilas diary:

There are mornings I wake up from dreams, and hysterically burst into tears, but once I look in the mirror a sense of relief engulfs me. My heart and aspirations are suffocated for that split second that I envision myself wearing it. Am I the only 17-year-old Muslim girl in Sydney who’s scared to death of placing islamophobia, social stereotyping, employment discrimination and repression around my head? Then decorating it with deep purple, bright pinks and expensive jewels to confine to the expectations of my selfie generation… Just to be alarmed that no matter how well you do your eyeliner, how expensive your jewels are, how independent, passionate and educated you are! You will still be subjected to the stereotypes mama and baba expect of you and the preconceived ideologies society place on you. It’s not just a personal religious belief and obligation to Allah anymore, its everything else that comes with it. Everything else I’m not willing to accept as a young woman who wants more. But what do I tell mama, do I tell her that when she walks down the street that I can assure her there is another person despising her for her faith threatening their country.

“ADILA!!!!! Get down here now”, as I expected baba was furious. I hurried down stairs in my robe and stumbled to the bottom step. Expecting to see baba’ cherry red face and mama’ bulging eyes eating me alive. But what I saw instead was a stranger. A complete and utter stranger standing in the middle of my home next to baba. What was baba thinking bringing a boy at 9pm and not telling me. Before I could take it back, I shouted at baba in front of this stranger, “If this has anything to do with what you said last week about arranging me a boy I will have none of it!” My mouth dropped synchronized with baba’, mama’ and the stranger. I couldn’t take it back now. There was no redeeming myself, I was to marry the stranger, have his children, feed his family, home his house.”Adila you have no choice in this matter, we have let you run free with your thoughts but Ameer here will domesticate you” Baba ordered. Mama said nothing, she stood there pleased that her daughter was becoming her, then followed baba out of the room, leaving me with the stranger.