Effects of Divorce

Assignment 2: Significant life event of divorce

My parents’ divorce was one of my most significant life events. As a result of my parents’ divorce, I lived in a divided home. I spent part of my time with my father (usually weekends and a few holidays) and part of my time with my mother (weekdays and other major holidays). Unlike other children my age, who tended to conceive of their parents as infallible well into adolescence, I understood at a young age that my parents were not perfect. My mother frequently criticized my father and vice versa. At first, I felt resentful towards both of them for shattering my world. It was uncomfortable and awkward having to deal with both of them when the anger of the divorce was still festering.

My stormy emotions might be one reason that my memory of this time is not perfect. I remember resenting my parents’ girlfriends and boyfriends even though in retrospect some of them were nice people. I felt guilty if I behaved civilly towards them, but equally guilty if I did not. At other times, I tried to shut out the fact that my parents were divorcing, and simply focused on my own emotional issues. I did not want to talk about the subject with my parents; I did not want to be their confidant. I felt that I had to assume an adult level of maturity that I was not really willing or able to shoulder at the time.