Religious Society of Friends

The culture I decided to study is the Religious Society of Friends, commonly known as Quakers. It is a Christian movement born in England in the seventeenth century, after splitting from the Church of England. A local group of Quakers have a meeting house in Olympia where they meet every Sunday morning for the worship. The main characteristic I noticed is that they do not have clergy, or a hierarchy, and all members are considered equal. Members call themselves “Friends.” The meeting house is set up with chairs arranged in a circle. The prayer consists in an hour of silence, during which the believers invoke the Holy Spirit and occasionally stand up to share what the Spirit inspired them to say in that moment. After half an hour of silence, some people started to share what they were moved to. It was very emotional and they looked all free to share even intimate thoughts, despite my presence. According to James Herbert Mead’s Theory of Mind, people edit their stories according to the audience. Humans have the ability of imaging what other people may think, and anticipate their possible response to a question or reaction to a story. James Herbert Mead claims that while people are telling stories, they automatically edit and adapt them, trying to connect to the listeners (2012, 2-3). I did not notice any embarrassment or reluctance by the “Friends” in sharing their personal feelings. I was surprised that they were very open and willing to talk about their intimate stories. This was probably due to the context. It was a familiar setting, and most of the people present have known each other for a long time. This kind of sharing reminded me of one of the functions of storytelling, which is to reinforce and conform to the social order of a culture. The shared stories were related to personal experiences or they were general thoughts about life. There was an extreme respect for the person talking and no interruptions by the audience. Barbara Myerhoff underlines “the emotional importance of having a place and an audience where, and for whom, you can relieve your memories” (2012, 2). This moment of sharing is fundamental for Quakers because it is a way to strengthen their bonds and show their belonging to the community. In many Western cultures there is the stereotype of women being compassionate and emotional, while men have a reputation of being more practical and less sensitive. It is not what I witnessed at the Quakers’ meeting. I noticed that both, men and women, showed a similar compassion, willing to share their deep emotions. It was not rare to see men moved during their sharing. After the worship, people did not talk too much, but I could listen to some small talk.

Later in the week I participated to a recreational event organized by Quakers. I thought it was a good time to collect some stories because it was dinner time. As Elinor Ochs, Ruth Smith, and Carolyn Taylor state, “dinner time is often when family members tell