Blended Family Development

Blended Family Development

PC 6025 Human Growth and Development

Instructor:

Argosy University

Introduction

It is often said that the divorce rate in America is at 50%. This unsupported statement is near the truth but not entirely accurate. When considering divorce rates it is more precise to factor if the divorces are 1st, 2nd, or 3rd marriages. For 1st marriages the rate is about 41% but goes up considerably for 2nd and 3rd marriages (Divorce, 2012). When these specific types of divorce are considered the overall rate really is quite near 50%. What this means is there are many families that are divided and then “blended” together with other families that have been similarly divided.

When these blended families come together each member has their own idea of their role and the roles of each other member. These roles are rarely played out to the individual’s satisfaction and this means that things rarely go smoothly in the beginning for blended families. Parents will often struggle with feelings that they must sometimes choose between their biological children and their new spouse or the step-children. The children have feelings of guilt and betrayal to the absent parent when they start to appreciate the step-parent. They struggle to find their place with new siblings. It causes a lot of fighting and difficulty especially in the beginning.

Patricia Papernow (as cited in Baxter, Braithwaite and Nicholson, 1999) completed an extensive study consisting of interviews with blended families. Out of this study, came a detailed model of blended family development. The model consists of three sections: the early stages, the middle stages and the later stages (Papernow, 1993). Each section is further broken down into more detailed and descriptive stages. Papernow (1993) developed the stages of development for blended families and indicated families who are unsuccessful do not move past stage four, she also went on to report that the process of moving forward in the stages is not a defined, effortless and clear cut process.

Early Stages of Blended Family Development

The first stage of blended family development is the fantasy stage. Families in the fantasy stage usually have unrealistic expectations and hopes for what the blended family will come to be (Baxter, Braithwaite and Nicholson, 1999). Each family member has their own idea of what each member of the family’s role will be as well as their own. For instance, children maybe still grieving the loss of their nuclear family and want their biological parents back whereas, the adults are hopeful their new spouse is better than their previous and their children love the new spouse unconditionally (Strong,