Counseling Blended Families

Counseling Blended Families

Samuel Bland

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Abstract

Blended families, or rather Step-families, are known as forming a new family with a new partner and their children. The latest research on blended families identifies the development of the family, strategies to create a healthy blended-family and how the relationship is between the step-parents and step-children. The blended family faces many multi-cultural issues and when necessary the blended-family should see a  counselor to help them through their issues. Bringing two different cultural families together is not an easy task and it requires much discussion and counseling before they merge. Before taking the big jump the family should meet and discuss their issues, compatibility and family morals. Having a blended family can be a wonderful experience. The mix of cultures, traditions, morals, and languages. However, there are potential issues that a family may face when forming a blended family. This paper explores potential issue faced by blended families, the stages of a blended family, helpful secrets for the parents of blended families and also useful tips for a successful blended family.

        The United States is seeing an increase in the number of blended families. However, along with this increase in blended families there has also been an increase in the issues among them because the children are not ready to easily adopt a different parenting style and daily routines. When the blended family is formed, the child usually bears the most stress in the situation. In the beginning of the formation of a blended family the parents tend to be in the honeymoon stage of their relationship. According to Wallerstein (2013) the children of blended families are the most affected in the family. The children typically hesitate to communicate with the parents and act out of character, exhibiting negative behaviors. Parents should also not expect the blended family to adjust immediately. Instead the parents of blended families should provide them proper time to adjust and form a strong bond.

        A family is formed when a child is born and for children to feel validated in the family the parents should involve the children in important decisions for the family. It would be very easy to bond among blended family if children are involved in either finding the parent’s significant other or bonding after the parent finds a significant other and starts a family with them. This would make the children feel important, involved and bond easily with the new family.

Priority in Blended Families

        After the parent finds their new significant other and start living together as a new couple their top priority is developing a strong bond among themselves as couples. Strong bonded families are made if the marriage is strong and that forms by two strong pillars - husband (the father) and wife (the mother). This does not mean the parents neglect their children at the sake of your new partner. Children are products of their environment. In a blended family, children have

seen arguments between their parents, fights and the separation of their parents. This makes it very important for the new parents to show their children a happy and successful relationship (Sweeney, 2010) This should be the top priority of the parents for the children. Providing balance is also important for the parents to provide to the children. This can be accomplished by providing equal time to the new significant other, the birth children and the step-children. The parent should also not show any bias toward their step-children. Lastly, paying more attention to the step-children may cause jealousy by the birth children and ultimately cause a sibling rivalry.