Buddhism - Personal Essay

If you would have asked me about converting to Buddhism two months ago I probably would have looked at you cross eyed. I grew up with traditional Christian influences. As I started to get older the more I started to disagree with everything that went on in our traditional Christian church, so I eventually stopped going. I never stopped believing in God or the powers he possesses. Years went on and eventually as much as I hate to say it, religion diminished from my life. It was not until a few years ago that I really started to feel the guilt associated with leaving most of my beliefs behind set it. Would my loving God understand? Would be forgive? Does he still hear my prayers? The guilt had become so bad that I set out on a search to find a church or religion that would allow me to feel and think and worship the way that suited me, needless to say I still have not found it. I decided to ask for forgiveness and assured my god that I knew he was there and had not forgotten him. For many years my husband has brought up Buddhism from time to time, and since I knew nothing about it, other than what I saw on television, which was not something that appeared I wanted to be a part of, I silently blew it off. I decided to go back to college a few months ago, since I was not working and home recovering from a surgery. In my college course was a religion class. So my journey to discover new beliefs and religions has started all over again. In my curiosity of Buddhism I found the Drolma Buddhist Center in Fort Lauderdale. It is a very small, old building with one door and very few windows. It was actually a little run down looking and I hesitated to go in. It was not all what I expected and visitors are encouraged but not allowed past a tiny room near the door. I thought this was odd, but then asked myself would I allow people I do not know to walk through every room in my house? Why I am explaining to you what the building looked like? Well because I hope that as you read, you feel the words and hopes it makes you feel as if you were there with me. As short as my interview was it was the most peaceful and informative twenty five minutes I have had in a long time.

From the minute the creaky old door opened I felt peace. I felt as if many of my guilty feelings were gone. I never liked or understood the feeling of guilt I had for leaving a church and never understood how that was fair to me. I had not left my God. One of the first things that was said to me in my conversation at the Buddhist Center was that Buddhism was a way of life and not a religion. The first few minutes were basic introductions and I was explained everything this particular center offered. The Drolma center offers meditation classes and you do not even have to be a member to attend. This was so different than any other church I had been to, which always offered activities but you had to be a member. Then I was asked why I was there. I explained that I was in college