Sexual Trauma

Sexual trauma could go either way, you can grow up to overcome it and live a regular life or it can really affect you mentally and/or emotionally. Me, as a two-year-old I had sexual things done to me, my mother wasn’t able to protect me because of her use of drugs. The fact that I was fondled with as a toddler didn’t really anger me growing up, it was the fact that no one could tell me anything and I had gone 26 years clueless about all of it. I requested court papers on what happen to me this year, and having to visualize me as a little girl, and reading the doctors notes saying I was so compliant that they could have literally done anything and I would have let them, broke me down and took me back to a very hurt and vulnerable place. I never knew how deep that whole situation affected me until this year. I’ve been angry cause no one could tell me anything, but I guess I can understand what they were protecting from. Me being a mother now of two boys plus one on the way I have strived to always be the best and protect them from what I wasn’t protected from. Being that I went thru those trials, as a mother, I can’t help but to be very cautious on who I let around my boys. I must admit being that my mother wasn’t able to protect me, I haven’t allowed her to take my children anywhere and don’t really plan on it. This sexual trauma has taken a toll on me in ways I never knew it would, but all that matters is I survived and I’m healing.

Written By: Shannaee Willoughby-Logan