Born on a Blue Day

Born on a Blue Day

Daniel had a very difficult time revealing the fact of his homosexuality to anyone, including his parents, before his time spent in Lithuania. When Daniel lived abroad his sense of self changed completely and he grew leaps and bounds as an individual. It is very difficult for people like Daniel to express the feelings and emotions and, therefore, have difficulty having close relationships. Daniel was able to learn how to do this and that allowed him to find his partner Neil and live a romantic, love filled life with him.

While he was away in Lithuania he learned a great deal about himself. “I could see more clearly than ever before how my “differences” affected my day-to-day life, especially my interactions with other people”(141). Daniel also realized that friendship cannot be shoved upon someone and that it does not happen instantaneously. He slowly realized that friendships, and loves for that matter, had to build slowly and would blossom at their own pace. “Lithuania had also allowed me to step back from myself and come to terms with my “differentness” by illustrating the fact that it needn’t be a negative thing”(141-142). This is a great step for him because he can see that his differentness could be a positive thing. This was displayed several times with all the languages he was able to learn and with the languages came new friends.

Another thing that Daniel finally fully realized was the fact that he was in fact gay. He seemed to have always expected he was different from the other children when he was younger, but until he made friends with a woman in Lithuania he did not seem to fully come to terms with the fact. Lithuania changed Daniel greatly as a person and it gave him a sense of self. Before all of this happened he was not able to express to his parents about his homosexuality because he did not fully know it himself. One other strong reason for Daniel not expressing to his parents about him being gay was the simple fact that he could not handle situations well where he did not know what the reactions of the other people would be. “I wanted to say many times over in my head, but entering the room I still felt a pang of sickness because I had no idea what their reaction would be and I do not like situations where anything could happen, because they make me feel dizzy and nauseous”(144).

Daniel is growing in his abilities, especially those concerning love. Growing up he had a difficult time feeling such things like love, even for his parents. When Daniel met Neil they would spend hours talking back and forth through the computer, which meant Daniel did not have to worry about such things as he would if they were face-to-face. This seems to be a huge reason Daniel was able to be his whole self with Neil. Neil is also on the autistic spectrum and so they had a lot in common. The more time they spent together the easier it was for Daniel