Doing Business South Africa

Why we are the way we are

The following stories are from people who wanted to change a particular habit of theirs. Many years ago I learned and taught an exercise where a habit can be explored and then its anchor point can be understood, strengthened or removed. An anchor point is simply a decision wrapped in energy, which produces the repeatable activity of the habit.

Neurologically, a neural path is mapped in the brain, such that the habit is performed once the trigger points are experienced. An example could be getting agitated when you see a particular person. At a previous point in time, you made an emotive decision about that person and now, they only have to be in your presence for that pathway to fire and you feel agitated.

As we tend to do as humans, most people who participate in this exercise decide to examine a part of their lives that is not working as effectively as they wish – an unwanted habit. The exercise can equally be performed for the habits that give us the good things in life. We have something like 60,000 habits that when investigated, can tell us why we are the way we are and what forces inside us drive our day-to-day experience. Sometimes, just shining a light on an anchor point is enough to change the thought pattern. Other habits require the expression of the trapped energy to release the pattern.

The names of individuals have been changed for privacy purposes.

Lachlan (aged in his late twenties)

Lachlan said he was ‘always faced with many opportunities' and he simply needed to decide on which option to take. That was his problem. His indecision showed on his face, as he has a lost little boy look. Lachlan wanted to know why he feels lost when faced with a decision.

What he uncovered, surprised him.

At 10 years of age, his parents had separated and he had spent three months with each and was due to tell the Magistrate of the Family Court, which parent he wanted to live with. He wanted both, but the court wanted a decision. He remembers his sisters telling him to say ‘yes' when the judge asked him a question. He wanted to avoid it so much, that he fell asleep and needed to be woken up to answer. He then said ‘yes' without fully hearing the judge's question.

He was confused, lost and didn't want to decide between them. Later in life, when he needed to decide between two good options, he got that same feeling. When Lachlan was given options the confused emotions were triggered. At those moments he acted as a 10 year old and fell in a heap. If he chose one way he lost his mother and if he went the other, he lost his father.

Making decisions was an activity that really hurt.

David