Poem

After high school graduation, my classmates and I decided to have a 3-day trip and have fun and celebration for our achievements. An experience that was supposed to be fun and entertaining for us, turned out to be the most embarrassing situation. While every girl in the class had a boyfriend, I did not have one. However, I expected all of us to be together and play different games as a group and not as couples. The journey to the place where we were supposed to stay for the 3 days was amazing. In the bus that transported girls, we were dancing and eating snacks all the way, getting ready for the real and big event that was to come once we reached the place. We learned dance moves we would do in that evening before going to bed and the songs we would play. (Backstage behavior)

When we reached the place where we were supposed to camp, the real party started. However, I felt alone and not fitting in the society since we did nothing we had practiced in the bus. People started dancing with their partners, and for a person who had no boyfriend, I felt left out and not belonging. I was sad and at the same time angry, but did not want any of my friends to realize that I had these negative feelings (Poise). The songs we had agreed to play were not the one being played at the moment and it made me more furious. My moves were not matching with the songs played, and I did not have a partner to dance with. To avoid the embarrassment, I took my phone out of my purse and started taking pictures while smiling to show off as a person who was having fun, but inside my heart, I was furious and felt like screaming out at someone for the disappointment I was feeling. (emotion- management) In addition, I did not want my parents to feel sad when they learned that I did not have fun at the camp, while I left home with much enthusiasm about the trip. Hence, pictures would be a good evidence of how much I “enjoyed” the trip.

However, I could not keep smiling and taking pictures (Surface acting) for more than three hours. It was awkward, and I thought my friends might ask me why I was not dancing like them. To avoid my face to be threatened, I made an excuse (Apology as an aligning action) that I had cramps and that I needed to rest to be in shape for the remaining two days. Hence, I left the party (Face work: Avoidance process) and went on my bed. Though I wanted to cry to let