Inaugural Address

To all those White Male Land owning voters in our amazing country,

Thank you for your meaningless vote. Without you I would not be here today (the 20th of January) wishing you good luck myself, through these next four years. To all those Animating Americans, fear not, you will soon fall in love with my policies, whether its political, social, and/or economic affairs, I plan to strive for all of the voting population (White Men) to aim for greatness! Before I go any further, I would like to illustrate to the founding fathers my gratefulness, for without the ideal of the Electoral College I would not be in front of my “great” comrades on this fine day! I would like to express my gratefulness for the idiotic voters of the battle ground states of Florida and Ohio and Pennsylvania and Michigan and Wisconsin, for without you, I would once again like to say I would not be here today.

​Throughout my childhood, one mind always attracted my attention, ​ John Harbaugh. But one quote of his many stood out more than the others throughout this campaign process, “Fans have the constitutional right to expect success and have high expectations.” With my slogan “America expects Success. How about you?” shows that I will not only strive success, I will expect it! Nonetheless, this statement is false. With a primarily democratic congress, many of my policies including building walls around our country to keep those Mexicans from the south and those snow-Mexicans from the north taking jobs from rightful and dedicated American citizens. My fellow Americans let me mind you that although you might be scared for these next four years, this country will not reap the cost of my presidency. My presidency will make tough choices that may not look like the best for this country but will absolutely be the correct choice at the time of the decision. We will strive for success! We will build those walls! We will MAKE AMERICA GREAT