The 5 People You Will Meet in Heaven

The 5 People U Meet In Heaven!

The five people u meet in heaven... what's so interesting about that? Everyone knows that heaven is probably a place filled with laughter from the beautiful angels.... glitter from the gold pavements... and warmth from the shining white lights... or is when u r having that screaming orgasm (ha!)....

and the 5 people u meet in heaven are probably:

(1) God - Jesus, Buddha, Allah, Krishna, Guan Yin and co... they r all up there.. probably playing mahjong or something...

(2) your departed love ones - the grandpas, the grandmas, the uncles, the aunts, all your ancestors in their chinese vampire dresscode down to that poor little hamster u accidentally dropped in primary school...

(3) St Peters a.k.a. the jaga / security guard/ traffic police/customs of the Pearly Gates where he jaga the gate and check whether u have the pasport to heaven or whether your petrol is 3/4 full...

(4) Tears.... i know it's corny..."tears in heaven".. that eric clapton song... (for those who haven't heard this song.. u muz be like only 18 or something and i have to say this to u.... GET OUT of the clubbing areas!!! u r making places like zouk a damn happening kindergarten... GET OUT!!!) and for those who are laughing ...well don't! coz there are plenty of reasons for tears in heaven.. (a) u realised that u r well...dead! (b) u realised that u ACTUALLY can make it to heaven.....(hooray) (c) for believers - u realised that there is actually heaven and all that praying has not gone to waste when u see the mahjong ppl...(double hooray... all the "sucking up" prayers are worth it!!) (d) for non-believers - there's GOD?!!?! CRAP!!! (e) and well... u realised ya ancestors look ridiculously stupid in their vampire costumes... tears of laughters i must say...

Lastly (5)