The Topic of Arranged Marriages

The topic of arranged marriages is a very interesting subject to me. I have been fortunate enough to study arranged marriages in other courses and really enjoyed integrating new knowledge about intimate relationships. The concept of arranged marriages for Americans may be perceived to be very odd or even forced however by understanding cultural relativism and connecting it to how relationships work there is new perspective and understandings to be learned.

Arranged marriages around the world are done for several reasons. One is because young people are thought to be inexperienced and therefore not able to pick a suitable mate. Another is to make sure there is no intermarriage between members of the same family otherwise inbreeding or incest can accidentally occur in areas where communities are smaller. When it is time to choose a perspective husband or wife for a child the parents look for strong personal attributes that will lead to the spouse being treated kindly not only by the spouse, but their family as well. Because a person’s social status is based on the family and those around them the reputation of the spouse and family are carefully looked into. Parents look for good personal qualities as well; kindness, charitibility, education level, work ethic, emotional disposition, and income.

In understanding the way relationships are built from the ground up which we have been studying over the course of the semester we can see how there are many factors that contribute to a relationship. In America and other cultures that have Western influence the nature of intimacy begins with six specific categories (knowledge, caring, interdependence, mutuality, trust, and commitment. Not to say those in countries like India or Pakistan where marriage is traditionally arranged that these are not important aspects of a relationship, however the way in which they are acquired are different. Instead the decisions are left up to the parents of the child. In many ways this does relieve a lot stress and decision making that a young person would have to make. Often time in relationships there is dysfunctional communication, we often hold our loved ones to higher level than we should and we are not educated in relationships. The list of relationship issues can infinitely go on. So how inexperienced people possibly know what to do? Arranged marriages also conquer a lot of other issues like proximity because the mate is usually from the community. Additionally, the decisions of the parents are always respected and you love your wife or husband no matter what, instead of quickly and easily resorting to divorce.

When a marriage is arranged physical attractiveness is not taken into consideration as heavily as it is in America rather the importance of the relationship and how well each mate will work out. As mentioned in the video if the relationship is good and personalities “click” then love will follow despite aesthetics. Arranged marriages