Parenting

Parenting in a perfect world

In a perfect world, all children would be welcomed and loved by two parents who have committed themselves to a lifelong relationship with each other. In this world, parents would be prepared to raise children in a healthy manner, fostering intelligence, plus being financially able to handle a child and model high levels of integrity. Unfortunately, this isn’t true in all cases. Some parents are, unfortunately, lacking the skills required for good parenting.

The way parents behave and respond plays an important role in how our children develop, as parenting styles influences the development of the child’s social, cognitive, and psychological growth, which affects children both in the childhood years, and on into adulthood.

According to Erikson’s Identity, Youth, and Crisis, “There are eight stages individuals go through during their lifetimes, five of which happen during childhood. Each stage involves the successful resolution of a crisis, which fosters feelings of competency.”

(E. H. Erikson, 1968)

As parents, it’s very important to guide our children through each one of these stages, lovingly and effectively.

Challenges Children face:

The first challenge children face often lasts from birth to the age of 18 months old is to  acquire the ability to develop a sense of trust versus a sense of mistrust. This depends on the attitude the parents have. Babies rely upon their parents and caregivers to care for all their basic needs. When a child cries, they’re not crying for no reason. They cry to communicate with their parents and/or caregivers. They need their diaper changed when it’s wet and when it’s soiled. They need to be fed regularly.

It’s very important that the baby understands that their parents are dependable, loving and accepting of their needs. Feeding them when they’re hungry, holding the baby, picking her up when they need cuddling teaches them that their parents can be trusted.

The next challenge the child faces is “autonomy vs doubt”. (E. H. Erikson, 1968) This stage lasts up to the child’s third year. This is the time when the child learns self-control in grasping things, using the toilet, walking, talking. The parents must give the child the opportunity to develop independence. Correct the child when they are wrong, but being overly critical can have harmful effects, too.

The part of the parent is to praise the child for trying, reassure them when they’ve made a mistake and patiently teach them how things need to be done. Give them choices on the clothes they want to wear.

When the child is ready for preschool, they’re learning new skills. The preschooler acquir motor skills and learn to interact with others. They want to take control of playtime and their friends participation. This is a crucial time for the parents, as the child often oversteps their boundaries. The parents job is to teach the child what the boundaries are in a frim and loving way.