Difference of Communication Style Between Men and Women

Melanie Lama

Professor Cruz

High-Intermediate English as a Second Language ESL-X 433B

October 28th, 2016

Difference of Communication Style Between Men and Women

As John Gray said « Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. »  Starting from the premise that men and women are from different planets, as a consequence they have such different behaviour as communication style. Communication style is the way in which we share information with others through language. We think that we are talking clearly and comprehensively, but sometimes this is not the case. Misunderstandings can appear when we are talking to someone who uses a communication style very different from our own. There are many differences between men and women that influence communication style such as gender and culture.

        There are two standarts for gender. There are two ingrained stereotypes. Women are more expressive, soft, and polite in conversation, while men are more self-confident and angry. So because of gender we categorize women and men in two distinct groups without information or research just because of their sex. Moreover, there is physical difference due to gender, which is the volume and the tone of the voice. It is normal for men and women to have different communication style, they cannot have the same tone and volume of voice. For exemple girls have a high-piched voice, whereas boys have a deep voice. So, a difference exists because of your gender, but our cultural society is also responsible for this discrimination.

        Culture can also explain the difference style of communication between men and women. The society raises boys and girls differently, so there is an impact of their behavior and the way they communicate. For exemple in the Deborah Tannen interview « gender and conversational interaction » we learn that a research has been done about conversational ritual in a class of little boys and girls. Boys talk longer than girls and if girls have the same time of speech boys think they talk to much. As a consequences girls sometimes inhibit themselves from speacking because of this stereotype « girl doesn’t talk to much in public » or she looks like bossy. This research shows us that differences across gender start at a young age. Tannen noticed that boys create relationships with each other by doing things together and demonstrating their power; activities are central to their friendship.  Girls, instead, create close relationships with each other by simply talking. Thus, women use communication as a tool to enhance social connections and create relationships, while men use language to dominate. On the other hand, the popular book by John Gray and Deborah Tannen interview explain that men view conversations as a way to establish and maintain status and dominance in relationships. Women see the purpose of conversation to create and foster intimacy with the other by talking about problems and finding constructive answer for this issue. So, because of our education, which makes differences between boys and girls, the communication style is not the same.