What I Think About Love

The first thing that came to my mind was: What made me changed so much? That made me grew up (at least by how I think & how I viewed the world). At what point exactly did I change? Then I realized. It was him.

It’s awful to actually remind myself of how stupid I was to believe things to be the way they were. I’m at the verge of crying, even, when I think about what happened. He wasn’t even my boyfriend. My first one didn’t even affect my wellbeing. I didn’t even cry after the so-called-breakup. I don’t even feel anything anymore when I think about that. But when I think about that particular him, I get sad and hurt like nobody ever did to me. It’s actually very childish of me to actually cry when it happened.

If you were a decent follower of mine since a few years ago, you would know this story.

Sadly, I won’t be elaborating further on what happened. To even think about what happened hurts. I honestly don’t care about what he did- I just hated how much it embarrassed me.

To 5A&5B Moral friends, if you remember what happened when you reminded me of that, then you would know how much it affected me.

I even deleted my blog, for goodness sake. It was that awful. I never imagined myself being so hurt that I’d actually end up doing one of the childish things girls do when they had their breakup. I didn’t go through any breakups.

Now I know. At some point, when someone hurts you so much, you will change. To good or bad, you will. Thank God, I changed to the good side. To the one that reminds me of better things in life. Of course after this incident, I still fell in love, and also hurt. But nothing ever hurt like this one. I never had another boyfriend. I couldn’t stand giving away my love for something stupid. And I found the joy in giving my parents what they always wanted.

One thing about me that I find is that, I can sleep