Coming Out

Coming out

I was living in Miami with my dad, he drops me off at school like any other day. But this day was different from the rest. As I’m walking towards the school some boy hollered across the courtyard, “hey guys! Look it’s the gay boy!” Everyone was laughing at me and I was just confused. Was I gay? I didn’t know, I’m only in the 3rd grade. I quickly clapped back “No, I’m not?” and just brushed it off. Those “gay boy” words haunt me all day. I didn’t know I was being gay. When school ended, my father picked me up, “How was your day?” he asked. “Some guy called me gay today this morning.” My dad gave me a puzzling look, “You’re not gay son, don’t let kids words get to you. Keep doing you.” Those words gave me encouragement and little bit of hope. The next day my family and I went to my dad’s coworker barbecue. All the adults were together, drinking, “Gervens, go play with the other kids.” My dad ordered. So naturally I went to go play with the girls. As I’m playing with them I overhear a conversation between my dad and his coworker, “How come your son is playing with the girls? He’s a boy, he should be playing football with the other little boys.” I can see my dad’s face getting flustered with embarrassment. “GERVENS. STOP ACTING LIKE A GIRL, NOW GET UP AND GO PLAY WITH THE BOYS.” He commanded me. “Jean, don’t be so hard on him, he’s just a kid. He doesn’t know better.” my mother said. “what don’t I know better? What were my parents talking” I thought to myself? Oh well, who knows? I went to go play with the guys as my father wished. “Shouldn’t you be playing with dolls and dressing up? one of them teased. “Um… no…” “Well no fags allowed.” After that comment I felt uncomfortable, I ran away and cried. Days go by, I now live with my mother in Lakeland. New school, new start.

Today is the day. I’m in the 7th grade finally got a boyfriend, I don’t want to keep it a secret anymore. I called my mom over to my room, my hands are sweaty, my throat is dry with anxiety. “Mom…” my voice was trembling. “I gotta tell you something and I’m not sure how you are going to take it.” Her face was look concerned but I had to do it. “Mom, I’m gay.” My heart dropped, now I was waiting for her response. She didn’t say anything for a few minutes, I was nervous. She finally said “Gervens… I know… I was waiting for you to tell me.”