Emotional Intelligence

EMOTIONS

Emotion is defined as “A mental state that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort and is often accompanied by physiological changes”. When we are about to give public speeches, most of us feel a little nervy, anxious and our blood starts to pump a little so blood pressure increases. These are all emotions and we humans as many mammals feel emotions because of the various emotional experiences that are stored in our brain. There are 4 basic emotions in us which are Sad, Glad, Mad and Scared. These four emotions build up all the other emotions that we perceive. And it is very important for us to recognize emotions in self and others, to understand the causes and consequences of emotions, to label them, to express them and to carefully regulate them.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Emotional Intelligence is to bring intelligence towards our emotions. It is the “ability to make healthy choices based on accurately identifying and managing our own feelings and those of others.” Emotional Intelligence is so important for life success as well as career success because only 10-20% of life and career successes are because of IQ. Basic structure of our brain suggests that thoughts came after feelings/emotions and if we match our emotions with rationality and decide can we only be deciding well. Discoveries in neuroscience proves that amygdala which is the emotional centre and prefrontal cortex which is the executive centre communicate through a circuit which allows us to be intelligent about our intelligence.

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When we act without thinking spontaneously it is known as “Amygdala Hijack”. The characteristics of “Amygdala Hijack” is Quick sudden reaction, very strong emotion and really inappropriate reaction afterwards. When Luis Suarez bit Chillieni during the world cup, it was actually his “Amygdala Hijack” moment.

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The mood meter is a testing tool for our internal psychological test developed in the Yale University. This tests us in which quadrant we fall in and what emotion can be labeled to what we’re feeling and to properly understand the causes and consequences of emotions so as to express and regulate them well. It is very helpful to understand our inner self.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE SKILLS

1. SELF AWARENESS.

• Self awareness is about what we feel from moment to moment. We’re always feeling something but we always don’t know. Self awareness is about our strengths and weaknesses, its about our values, its about who you are. What you know is right. Who you aren’t. What you’ll never do. Even if you do it, you know its not you. You’ll get back to being who you truly are. This reckoning is done only when we pay careful attention to our feelings, our emotions. We need to listen to our gut feelings. Our intuition are valuable information. Gut feeling is called so because the neural tracts actually run into the gastro intestinal tract and the emotional brain summarizes the emotional bottomline and gives us to us as the gut feelings.

For eg: A student knows he can’t finish his assignments on tight deadlines, therefore he finishes it in advance

1. SELF REGULATION

• Self regulation is all about controlling and redirecting disruptive emotions and impulses. Its about understanding the value of “delayed gratification.” Self-management is comprised of five competencies; Self-control, which is keeping disruptive emotions and impulses under control; transparency, which is maintaining standards of honesty and integrity, managing yourself and responsibilities; and adaptability, which is the flexibility in adapting to changing situations and overcoming obstacles; achievement orientation, which is the guiding drive to meet an internal standard of excellence; and initiative, which is the readiness to seize opportunities and act.

Eg: When a subordinate does an error, instead of shouting at him a self regulated leader calms down and uses the effective words to make him understand about the specifics of what went wrong and how he can improve.

1. MOTIVATION

• Motivation is an energy that drives people to learn and improve and be best in what they aim to become. It is a constant source of feel good energy. It’s a passion for the work itself and for new challenges. Unflaggering energy to improve. Optimism in the face of failure. A portfolio manager at an investment company sees her fund tumble for three consecutive quarters. Major clients defect. Instead of blaming external circumstances, she decides to learn from the experience and engineers a turnaround. She later calls those three quarters the best days of her life.

1. EMPATHY

• Empathy is knowing what someone is feeling without them telling you in words. It is to understand the non- verbal cues, tone of voice and facial expression. Empathy is crucial to get along with people. There are three kinds of empathy a. Cognitive empathy: simply knowing how the other person feels and what they might be thinking. b. Emotional empathy: when you feel physically along with the other person as though their emotions were contagious. c. Empathic concern: With this kind of empathy we not only understand a person’s predicament  and feel with them but are spontaneously moved to help if needed.

1. SOCIAL SKILLS

• When an individual is skilled in all of the above skills, social skills come easy. Its managing relationships to move people in desired directions. It characterizes in leading change, persuasiveness, extensive networking, expertise in building and leading teams.

Emotional Intelligence is necessary for our physical well being as well. One of the most emotionally intelligent person today, the 14th Dalai Lama went for a health checkup when he was 73 years old and the doctor was quite surprised at his physiology and called him a young patient. Because the emotional centres, the immune centres and the CV systems are so interrelated, our emotions have major impact on our resistance to minor as well as major diseases. And EQ also helps improving our relationships with our friends, family, colleagues, to have open, clear communication in work, to be specific and to work better together. And since our limbic system is the last part of our brain to develop anatomically EQ can be learned and trained to perfection if we understand and practice